More early than late: The 2024 Dadaist Epic Post-Thanksgiving Poem

I did not publish a Dadaist epic poem shortly after Thanksgiving 2024 as I had in 2019, 2021, 2022 and 2023. Perhaps it was too soon after the 2024 elections, when I was not feeling especially celebratory. Or perhaps it was that more pressing matters demanded my attention. Whatever the reason, the inspiration to craft the annual Dadaist epic poem simply was not there…until now.

Will The Admiral return to celebrate Thanksgiving with us in 2025?

Since 2012, I have been solely responsible – by choice – for cleaning the kitchen, dining room and living room following Thanksgiving meals prepared (mostly) by my wife Nell. In 2015, I prepared a mix on my classic flywheel iPod for the occasion, and I have done so every Thanksgiving since, excepting 2020, when COVID kept the celebration to immediate family. These mixes range from 37 tracks in 2021 to 57 tracks in 2017. Since 2021 the only celebrants have been Nell and I, our two adolescent children and the cousin, an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister, who officiated at our wedding. “The Admiral,” pictured above in November 2023, first joined us in 2021. While a prior commitment in the utility closet kept him from joining us in 2024, we expect him to rejoin our celebration in a few weeks.

Only partly in jest do I close these essays by suggesting that reading these Dadaist epic poems aloud is a way to reduce tension and lower the heat at family gatherings. In an age of angry screamers, some levity and a sense of absurdist joy go a long way.

This is my excuse for waiting until less than three weeks before Thanksgiving 2025 to publish my Dadaist epic poem from Thanksgiving 2024: now it is available for you to use in this year’s festivities.

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The 2024 version of the annual Dadaist epic poem is drawn from 47 tracks totaling 3 hours and 1 minute, 30 minutes shorter than the 2023 version. This was by design, as it has taken me less time to clean the last few years.

As expected, the mix is eclectic. These 47 tracks range from Alan Silverstri’s pulsating theme to the 2012 film The Avengers and the melancholic “The Massacre” written by Mark Isham for the 1992 film The Public Eye to two early rock-and-roll gems by Bo Diddley and Buddy Holly and one from their spiritual descendants The Stray Cats to a string of pop hits from 1966 and 1967 to a handful of disco tracks from 1977 and 1978 to the driving rock and roll of ZZ Top to my usual array of progressive rock, new wave and alternative rock. The median release year of these tracks is 1981. Seven tracks were released prior to 1967, while five were released after 1988. Just over half (24) of the tracks were released in the 1980s, while 11 (23%) were released in the 1970s. Put another way, just over half (25) of the tracks were released between 1978 and 1983.

Only 17% of these 47 tracks are classified as New Wave, Post-Punk or Synthpop, a sharp drop from 36% in 2023. However, adding in a 1986 track from new wave pioneers Talk Talk, two from New-Wave-tinged pop rock Quarterflash, one Electronic track from Depeche Mode and Alternative Rock tracks from Julian Cope, Everything But the Girl (2) and Suzanne Vega increases this very broad category’s share to 34%. The top specific genres are New Wave and (undifferentiated) Rock, with six tracks in each classification. Close behind are four tracks each classified as Alternative Rock, Disco, Hard Rock and Progressive Rock, and three tracks classified as Art Rock. The remaining 16 tracks are divided among Country Rock, Electronic, Folk Rock, Funk, Pop, Post-Punk, Rhythm and blues, Rock and roll, Rockabilly, Soundtrack, Sunshine Pop and Synthpop.

There are five unplanned carryovers from the 2022 mix: “A Little More Love” by Olivia Newton-John (3rd straight year), plus “Life’s What You Make It” by Talk Talk, “Find Another Fool” and “Take Me To Heart” by Quarterflash, and “One More Time” by The Clash. By contrast, nine tracks are appearing for the first time on a mix I curated.

And with that – the epic journey begins, with help from this indispensable website.

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Part 1

Overture: “The Avengers” by Alan Silvestri

When you get so down that you can’t get up

And you want so much, but you’re all out of luck

When you’re so downhearted and misunderstood

Just over and over and over you could, oh

And when the morning of the warning’s passed

The gassed and flaccid kids are flung across the stars

The psychodramas and the traumas gone

The songs are left unsung and hung upon the scars

And then along comes Mary

Your hair’s all greasy and you feel like a slob

You’re only fifteen and you can’t get a job

Run into the luncheon and shoot a few games

Losing all your quarters, man it’s always the same

Steal a couple of bucks to buy a new toy

Slip into the alley with the runaway boys

Well, you give me all your lovin’ and your turtle dovin’

All your hugs and kisses and your money too

Well, you know you love me baby

Still you tell me, maybe

That someday, well, I’ll be through

Well that’ll be the day

Baby, life’s what you make it

Celebrate it,

Anticipate it

Yesterday’s faded,

Nothing can change it

Life’s what you make it

Everything’s all right

I’m taking a ride with my best friend

I hope he never lets me down again

Promises me I’m as safe as houses

As long as I remember who’s wearing the trousers

I hope he never lets me down again

I step off the train

I’m walking down your street again

And past your door

But you don’t live there anymore

It’s years since you’ve been there

Now you’ve disappeared somewhere

Like outer space

You’ve found some better place

And I miss you

Maybe a great magnet pulls

All souls towards truth

Or maybe it is life itself

Feeds wisdom to its youth

You like your life in a free-form style

You’ll take an inch but you’d love a mile

There never seems to be quite enough

Floating around to fill your lovin’ cup

I should have learned this lesson long ago

That friends and lovers always come and go

And now you claim that everything’s OK

But I’ve got just one thing to say

Why don’t you

You don’t need no silicone

To calculate poverty

Watch when Watts town burns again

The bus goes to Montgomery

‘Cause it’s a one more time in the ghetto

You put your head on my pillow

And you’re fast asleep

And how do I make you

How do I make you

Dream about me?

If you live in a small town

You might meet a dozen or two

Young alien types who step out

And dare to declare

We’re through being cool

Working so hard like a soldier

Can’t afford a thing on TV

Deep in my heart, I abhor ya

Can’t get food for the kid, good God

We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

Where do we go from here

Now that all of the children are growin’ up?

And how do we spend our lives

If there’s no one to lend us a hand?

She don’t like other women

She likes whips and chains

She likes cocaine

And flipping out with Great Danes

She’s about all I can handle

It’s too much for my brain

And from the wreckage, I will arise

Cast the ashes back in their eyes

See the fire I will defend

Just keep on burnin’ right to the end

And in a world of people, there’s only you and I

There ain’t nothing come between us in the end

How can I hold you when you ain’t even mine?

Only you can see me through

I leave it up to you

Oh, I could say I need you, but then you’d realize

That I want you just like a thousand other guys

Who’d say they love you with all the rest of their lies

When all they wanted was to touch your face, your hands

And gaze into your eyes

Oh, can’t you see light is only in your eyes?

Would I be guilty?

Oh, would I be?

The sound you bring is an antiquated thing

So please don’t look to me for guidance

Today I am

A small blue thing

Made of china

Made of glass

I am cool and smooth and curious

I never blink

I am turning in your hand

Turning in your hand

Always the same desire

After the tone — they try to storm you

You are a voice alone and who dares to question

Forgotten at home – how do you live with

Do you wear brimstone — give me the call

Part 2

Overture: “The Massacre” by Mark Isham

After school is over, you’re playing in the park

But don’t be out too late, don’t let it get too dark

They tell you not to hang around and learn what life’s about

And grow up just like them, won’t let you work it out

And you’re full of doubt

I don’t want to tie you down

Don’t need a reason to have you around

But each time you walk away

Don’t be surprised if I ask you to stay

How’s the weather?

Weather or not, we’re together

Together we’ll see it much better

I love you, I love you forever

You know where I can be found

Why don’t you stay and let me make it up to you?

I’ll do anything you want me to

You loved me before, please love me again

I can’t let you go back to her

Please don’t go

You won’t forget my eyes

Ooh deep inside you realize

You’re gonna see me wherever you go

You’re gonna hear me on your radio

There you are in your car

And suddenly you hear me

“Do you want me

Do you want me”

Stretching away as far as my eyes can see

Deserts and darkness, my hand on the wheel

Loverboy, please call me home

A girl can get lonely out here on the road

You wonder if this heart of mine

Will lose its desire for you

Never, my love

The dark side’s callin’ now

Nothin’ is real

She’ll never know just how I feel

From out of the shadows

She walks like a dream

Makes me feel crazy

Makes me feel so mean

You got to whip it up

And hit me like a ton of lead

If I blow my top

Will you let it go to your head?

Solitude stands in the doorway

I’m struck once again by her black silhouette

By her long cool stare and her silence

I suddenly remember each time we’ve met

[The first two lines of the next stanza should be recited by one person, the next two lines by a different person, and the final two lines by the two together.]

Ooh, fallin’ free, fallin’ free, fallin’ free, fallin’ free

Fallin’ free

Ooh (ooh), you and me, you and me, you and me, you and me

You and me!

Ooh (ooh-ooh), I feel love, I feel love, I feel love, I feel love

I feel love!

So now I’m alone

Now I can think for myself

About little deals and S.U’s

And things that I just don’t understand

Like a white lie at night

Or a sly touch at times

I don’t think it meant anything to you

Don’t know why I’m surviving every lonely day

When there’s got to be no chance for me

My life would end

And it doesn’t matter how I cry

My tears of love are a waste of time

If I turn away

To divide the cockeyed world in two

Throw your pride to one side

It’s the least you can do

Beatniks and politics, nothin’ is new

A yardstick for lunatics, one point of view

No rhythm in cymbals, no tempo in drums

Love on arrival, she comes when she comes

Right on the target but wide of the mark

What I thought was fire was only the spark

The sweetest melody is an unheard refrain

So lower your sights

Yeah, but raise your aim, raise your aim

Night is dragging her feet

I wait alone in the heat

I know, know that you’ll have your way

‘Til you have to go home

No’s a word I can’t say

Bo Diddley buy babe a diamond ring

If that diamond ring don’t shine

He gonna take it to a private eye

If that private eye can’t see

He’d better not take the ring from me

Maybe someday

Saved by zero

I’ll be more together

Stretched by fewer

Thoughts that leave me

Chasing after

My dreams disown me

Loaded with danger

You can never understand

We can now be like water

Don’t need more to find our way

Just get on where we came

It’s a game

What a game

She got legs

She knows how to use them

She never begs

She knows how to choose them

She jangles me up

She does it with ease

And sometimes she passes through me

Just like a breeze

She gives me a reason

For feelin’ all right

I need you by me

Beside me to guide me

To hold me

To scold me

‘Cause when I’m bad, I’m so, so bad

You’re messin’ up the water

You’re rolling in the wine

You’re poisoning your body

You’re poisoning your mind

And you gave me Coca-Cola

You just said it tasted good

Then you watch the television

And to tell that just you should

The conclusion of the 2019 essay still holds:

Perhaps, just as Jews on Passover spread the reading of the Haggadah across multiple family members and guests, you could use these stanzas to defuse your next fractious gathering. Simply have each person present read a stanza, cycling through everyone until the final one. I expect the utter nonsense of the successive passages will serve as a much- needed distraction.

As always, here is the actual playlist. How many tracks did you recognize from the few lines of lyrics?

The Avengers	Alan Silvestri	2012
Hold On Tight	Electric Light Orchestra	1981
Along Comes Mary	The Association	1966
Runaway Boys	Stray Cats	1981
That’ll Be the Day	The Crickets	1957
Life’s What You Make It	Talk Talk	1986
Never Let Me Down Again	Depeche Mode	1987
Missing	Everything But the Girl	1994
Constant Craving	k.d. lang	1992
Jackie Blue	The Ozark Mountain Daredevils	1974
Find Another Fool	Quarterflash	1981
One More Time	The Clash	1980
How Do I Make You	Linda Ronstadt	1980
Through Being Cool	Devo	1981
Electric Avenue	Eddy Grant	1982
Games People Play	The Alan Parsons Project	1980
Got Me Under Pressure	ZZ Top	1983
Sole Survivor	Asia	1982
Shadow Dancing	Andy Gibb	1978
Cherish	The Association	1966
Charlotte Anne	Julian Cope	1988
Small Blue Thing	Suzanne Vega	1985
The Sign of Fire	The Fixx	1983
The Massacre	Mark Isham	1992
School	Supertramp	1974
Damned If I Do	The Alan Parsons Project	1979
How Can I Be Sure	The Young Rascals	1967
Hurt So Bad	Linda Ronstadt	1980
Take Me To Heart	Quarterflash	1983
Driving	Everything But the Girl	1990
Never My Love	The Association	1967
On The Dark Side	John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band	1983
Gimme All Your Lovin’	ZZ Top	1983
Solitude Standing	Suzanne Vega	1987
I Feel Love	Donna Summer	1977
Are ‘Friends’ Electric?	Tubeway Army	1979
If I Can’t Have You	Yvonne Elliman	1977
Incense and Peppermints	Strawberry Alarm Clock	1967
Poison Arrow	ABC	1982
A Little More Love	Olivia Newton-John	1978
Bo Diddley	Bo Diddley	1955
Saved by Zero	The Fixx	1983
No Time to Lose	Tarney-Spencer Band	1979
Legs	ZZ Top	1983
Tonight She Comes	The Cars	1985
Last Dance	Donna Summer	1978
Child Of Vision	Supertramp	1979