Surrealist Epic Post-Thanksgiving Poem, 2023 Edition

Yes, the following epic poem is far more Dadaist than Surrealist.

Since 2012, I have been solely responsible – by choice – for cleaning the kitchen, dining room and living room following the Thanksgiving meals prepared (mostly) by my wife Nell, accompanied by music on my classic flywheel iPod. In 2015, I prepared a mix for the occasion, and I have done so every Thanksgiving since, excepting 2020, when COVID kept the celebration to immediate family. These mixes range from 37 tracks in 2021 to 57 tracks in 2017. Since 2021 the only celebrants have been Nell and I, our two adolescent children and the cousin, an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister, who officiated at our wedding. “The Admiral” first joined us in 2021. He looked particularly snazzy this year, though he ate little and said even less.

I first had the idea to turn selected lyrics from the tracks on that year’s playlist into a makeshift epic poem in 2019. I repeated this quasi-Dadaist endeavor in 2021 and 2022. The 2023 edition is drawn from 53 tracks totaling 3 hours and 31 minutes – an overestimate of time, as I finished cleaning in closer to a record 2½ hours.

Once again, the mix is eclectic. These 53 tracks range from the two themes written by John Williams for the 1965-68 television series “Lost in Space” to the horn-driven early-1990s rock of Cherry Poppin’ Daddies and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones to the melancholic folk of mid-1980s Uncle Bonsai to the early-1970s proto-disco of Love Unlimited Orchestra and Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes to straight-ahead rock songs from the 1970s and 1980s. Two additional tracks were released in the the mid-1960s, the returning “Pushing Too Hard” by The Seeds (1966), and “Five O’Clock World” by The Vogues (1965). The most recent track is White Town’s quirky electropop “Your Woman” from 1997’s Women in Technology, the only track of five from the 1990s released after 1991. The median release year of these tracks is again 1982; just over half the tracks (57%) were released in the 1980s, with 14 (26%) released in the 1970s.

Reversing a downward trend, the 2023 mix has 19 tracks (36%) classified as New Wave, Post-Punk or SynthPop (up from 11 in 2022, and 14 in 2021). This does not count a 1986 track from Talk Talk and the New-Wave-tinged pop rock of Quarterflash. These 24 total tracks were released between 1979 and 1986. The top specific genre is New Wave (12 tracks), followed by seven tracks classified simply as Rock. The latter exclude two Alternative Rock and Pop Rock tracks, as well as one each classified Art Rock, Funk Rock, Garage Rock, Hard Rock, Heartland Rock and Southern Rock. The remaining 24 tracks are divided into Pop, R&B and Synthpop (4 each); Post-Punk (3); Contemporary Folk, Disco and Soundtrack (2); and one each Alternative Dance, Philly Soul and Ska Punk.

There are five unplanned carryovers from the 2022 mix: “Pushin’ Too Hard,” “Tuesday’s Gone” by Lynyrd Skynyrd, “A Little More Love” by Olivia Newton-John, “He Must Have Been a Genius” by Uncle Bonsai and “Free Ride” by Edgar Winter Group. By contrast, 20 tracks are appearing on a mix I curated for the first time.

And with that – the epic journey begins.

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Part 1

Overture: “Love’s Theme” by The Love Unlimited Orchestra

Visions in my cell begin to breed

Was everything a fact of what I read?

Excuse me while l spell my name,

Boat and ship could sound the same

Catch me if you can, but don’t delay

Last night, a little dancer a-came dancin’ to my door

Last night, a little angel came pumpin’ on my floor

She said, “A-come, baby, you got a license for love

And if it expires, pray help from above,”

While the masters and the slaves scratch for pieces of the dream

For purple mountain majesties,

Whatever the hell that means

They give up on each other,

And that’s the way they get ahead

But I can still see the stars

Through these red, white, and blue prison bars

The candy store paupers lie to the shareholders

They’re crossing their fingers,

They pay the truth makers

The balance sheet is breaking up the sky

So I’m caught at the junction,

Still waiting for medicine

The sweat of my brow keeps on feeding the engine

Hope the crumbs in my pocket can keep me for another night

Darlin’, you’re always there at my rescue

Dependin’ on you

Darlin’, you’re always there by my side

You’re always there by my side

Darlin’, you’re always there at my rescue

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I don’t believe that I deserve this ride

You took me for my very heart and pride

You let me down and now your hand is out

Well, here’s some spare change you can count

Why don’t you

Why can’t you be like this,

Why can’t you be like that?

I don’t know where I am or where,

Don’t know where I’m at

So now you got me up,

And now you got me down

You will be walking, you’ll be talking,

Watch me now, it’s crazy

Well, better listen girl to what I’m tellin’ you

You better listen girl

Or we are through

You better stop all your foolin’ around

Stop your runnin’ all over town

All the love in the world can’t be gone

All the need to be loved can’t be wrong

All the records are playing and my heart keeps saying (Oh)

“Boogie wonderland, wonderland”

The drinks flow

People forget

That big wheel spins, the hair thins

People forget

Forget they’re hiding

The news slows

People forget

The shares crash, hopes are dashed

People forget

Forget they’re hiding

Spanish weeks in my disco casino

The freedom fighters died upon the hill

They sang the red flag,

They wore the black one

After they died it was Mockingbird Hill

I can remember planning

Building my whole world around you

And I can remember hoping

That you and I could make it on through

But something went wrong

We loved each other

We just couldn’t get along

I phoned the station

For information

To try and get the times of trains to York

And on the platform

I saw your hatform

A kind of halo in the crowd – crush talk

You know that chick that used to dance a lot

Every night she’d be on the floor, shakin’ what she’s got

Man, when I tell you she was cool, she was red-hot

I mean, she was steamin’

And that time over at Johnny’s place

Well, this chick got up and she slapped Johnny’s face

Man, we just fell about the place

If that chick don’t wanna know, forget her

But I have your names

Screaming ‘You will suffer’

And, ‘You’re all too late’

Now I feel young

Does everything stop when the old tape fails?

A man decides after seventy years

That what he goes there for, is to unlock the door

While those around him criticize and sleep

And through a fractal on a breaking wall

I see you my friend, and touch your face again

Miracles will happen as we trip

You are the only one

You don’t know

You are the fire of love

You don’t know

You can believe it now

You don’t know anymore

You are the reason and the rhyme

I’ll love you more in the rain or shine

And making love in the rain is fine

A love so good and I call it mine

Love is blind

I can tell you I feel about you night and day

When the lights go out

She calls your name

When the lights go out

Always the same

Always someone left out in the rain

Always the same

When tears are in your eyes

And you can’t find the way

It’s hard to make-believe

You’re happy when you’re gray

Baby, when you’re feelin’ like

You’ll never see the mornin’ light

Come to me,

Baby, you’ll see

I was away at school

The night I heard the news

That I was all alone

From a stranger’s voice on the hallway phone

She had to call collect

And mispronounced my name

Said that I should be there

On the morning train

There was no one to lead me

No one to take me home

Trading my time for the pay I get (up!)

Living on money that I ain’t made yet (up!)

Gotta keep goin’

Gotta make my way (up!)

But I live for the end of the day (up!)

’cause it’s a five o’clock world when the whistle blows

Don’t think that we don’t know

Don’t think that we’re not trying

Don’t think we move too slow

It’s no use after crying

Saying “It’s a mistake”

Did the dishes,

Made the bed

Read a book I’ve never read

Any minute you will show

And I’m wondering where did you go?

Where’d you go?

I want to know

Part 2

Overture: Themes from “Lost in Space,” written by John Williams

1965-67 theme performed by Cincinatti Pops Orchestra & John Morris Russell

1967-68 theme by John Williams

She holds her head so high

Like a statue in the sky

Her arms are wicked

Her legs are long

When she moves

My brain screams out this song

All over the country,

I’m seeing the same

Nobody’s winning,

At this type of game

We gotta do better,

It’s time to begin

You know all the answers

Must come from within

Now, I know your heart,

I know your mind

You don’t even know you’re being unkind

So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways

Just use me up and then you walk away

Boy, you can’t play me that way

Arm in arm we laughed like kids

At all the silly things we did

But you can’t finish what you start

If this is love,

It breaks my heart

You made me promises, promises

You knew you’d never keep

In the moonlight

Under starlight

Songs old as the night are what I’ve been dreaming of

Everybody’s hard as iron

Locked in a modern world

Dreams are made of a different stuff

And they’ll work you when the day is through

On the Night Shift.

And they’ll comfort you and they’ll love you too

All night on the Night Shift.

You won’t ever want to see the sun when I’m done with you

Will a little more love make you stop depending?

Will a little more love bring a happy ending?

Will a little more love make it right?

[For this stanza, everyone not reciting softly chants “doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo-doo” throughout]

We carry in our hearts the true country

And that cannot be stolen

We follow in the steps of our ancestry

And that cannot be broken

[For this stanza, everyone not reciting softly chants “toot toot, hey, beep beep” throughout]

Friday night and the strip is hot

(Hot)

Sun’s gone down and they’re out to trot

(Out trottin’)

Spirit’s high and legs look hot

Do you wanna get down?

Time can’t afford no time

Can’t afford the rhyme

Nevermind, someday maybe

Boy meets girl

And love, love is on it’s way

Boy meets girl

Daylight turns into night

We try and find the answer but it’s nowhere in sight

It’s always the same and you know who’s to blame

You know what I’m saying,

Still we keep on playing

Head games

So you tell yourself

“I have nowhere to go

I don’t know what to do

And I don’t even know the time of day

I guess it doesn’t matter anyway”

The old lady kicks karate

For just a little walk down the street

The little baby knows Kung Fu

He tries it on those he meets

‘Cause its a’one more time in the ghetto

One more time if you please now

All of my life I’ve been waiting in the rain

I’ve been waiting for a feeling that never ever came

It feels so close but always disappears

Darling in your wildest dreams

You never had it good

But it’s time you’ve got the news

It’s after midnight

Oh, are you feeling all right?

Oh, yeah

Turn out the light, babe

Are you someone else tonight?

Ooh

Neighbour to neighbour, door to door

Don’t ask questions, time for it all, oh, yeah

We found the answer

And it’s plain to see

(Come on here me say)

I’m for you and you’re for me

‘Cause I found it

(Just got lucky)

Together we found it

(Just got lucky)

[For this stanza, two reciters engage in a call and response]

Down inside

(Down inside)

Don’t get caught with foolish pride

(Don’t get caught with foolish pride)

Put all the other things aside

(Things aside)

There’s only you and me

(You and me, you and …)

Believe in us

(Believe in us)

We were always meant to be

(Always meant to be)

Me for you and you for me

(You for me)

‘Til eternity

(‘Til eternity)

Well alright,

Do what you want

Don’t try to talk,

Don’t say nothing

She used to be the kind of woman you have and you hold

She could understand the problem,

She let the little things go

She’s a woman in love

Baby, life’s what you make it

Celebrate it,

Anticipate it

Yesterday’s faded,

Nothing can change it

Life’s what you make it

Everything’s all right

And he, he could have been a genius

I told him that myself

In the morning when he looked so frightened

And he couldn’t shake the sleep

Every evening in the dark

I forget to close my eyes

Cause my baby’s gone

I’m riding my blues babe

Trying to ride my blues

Ride on train

Ride my blues, babe

Come back to me, babe

Come back to me, oh, train

The ice age is coming,

The sun’s zooming in

Meltdown expected,

The wheat is growing thin

A nuclear era,

But I have no fear

‘Cause London is drowning

And I, I live by the river

You take my hand and give me your friendship

I’ll take my time and send you my slow reply

Give me an inch and I’ll make the best of it

Take all you want and leave all the rest to die

Reap the wild wind

You send me crazy when you said

We’re gonna spend all day in bed

My heart went out of style

I get scared

Inside

When you stand by

Take the risk and pay the price

And leave it to fate

It’s better to have loved and lost

Well, that’s what they say

Don’t you tell me

What I can do, what I can say

I’m not the one running away

I’m always on your mind

I’m the chill that never left your spine

In the building where you live and breathe

I’m the sound that never lets you sleep

Down the hall through the walls

You hear a voice that’s calling

“Do you want me? Do you want me?”

The conclusion of the 2019 essay still holds: Perhaps, just as Jews on Passover spread the reading of the Haggadah across multiple family members and guests, you could use these stanzas to defuse your next fractious gathering. Simply have each person present read a stanza, cycling through everyone until the final one. I expect the utter nonsense of the successive passages will serve as a much- needed distraction.

And, of course, here is the actual playlist:

Love’s Theme	The Love Unlimited Orchestra	1973
Today	Talk Talk	1982
Rebel Yell	Billy Idol	1983
Master and Slave	Cherry Poppin’ Daddies	1990
Blue Sky Mine	Midnight Oil	1990
Dependin’ On You	The Doobie Brothers	1978
Find Another Fool	Quarterflash	1981
Mental Hopscotch	Missing Persons	1980
Pushin’ Too Hard	The Seeds	1966
Boogie Wonderland	Earth, Wind & Fire	1979
Eminence Front	The Who	1982
Spanish Bombs	The Clash	1979
The Love I Lost	Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes	1973
Don’t Let Go	Wang Chung	1984
The Boys Are Back In Town	Thin Lizzy	1976
I Die: You Die	Numan, Gary	1980
Crazy	Seal	1991
You Don’t Know	Berlin	1986
Nite and Day	Al B. Sure!	1988
When the Lights Go Out	Naked Eyes	1983
Who Loves You	The Four Seasons	1975
Silent Night	Uncle Bonsai	1986
Five O’Clock World	The Vogues	1965
It’s a Mistake	Men at Work	1983
Where’d You Go	The Mighty Mighty Bosstones	1991
Theme from Lost in Space, Seasons 1 and 2	Cincinnati Pops Orchestra & John Morris Russell	1965
Theme from Lost in Space, Season 3	John Williams	1967
Hello, I Love You	Missing Persons	1980
Free Ride	The Edgar Winter Group	1972
Your Woman	White Town	1997
Promises, Promises	Naked Eyes	1983
Method of Modern Love	Hall and Oates	1984
Night Shift	Quarterflash	1982
A Little More Love	Olivia Newton-John	1978
The Dead Heart	Midnight Oil	1987
Bad Girls	Donna Summer	1979
Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl)	Haircut 100	1982
Head Games	Foreigner	1979
Destination Unknown	Missing Persons	1980
One More Time	The Clash	1980
Harden My Heart	Quarterflash	1981
Flesh for Fantasy	Billy Idol	1983
Just Got Lucky	JoBoxers	1983
Heaven Knows	Donna Summer and Brooklyn Dreams	1978
A Woman In Love (It’s Not Me)	Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers	1981
Life’s What You Make It	Talk Talk	1986
He Must Have Been a Genius	Uncle Bonsai	1984
Tuesday’s Gone	Lynyrd Skynyrd	1973
London Calling	The Clash	1979
Reap the Wild Wind	Ultravox	1982
Stand By	Roman Holliday	1983
(What) in the Name of Love	Naked Eyes	1984
Take Me To Heart	Quarterflash	1983